Roma Diary ( Extracts from my Journal)

In just five more days our seven year term here in Central Europe will come to a close. I was out walking and praying this afternoon and I sensed that the Lord was constraining me not to focus on all the failures but rather accept what is reality and then enter into intercession for the lost and broken fragments to become the foundation for the future.

There have been so many failures. Some were even spectacular failures and yet the truth is the Gospel has advanced among the Bayash and the Word of God is bearing fruit.

If you were to ask me why has there not been more fruit for all the labour my answer would be very simple. My life has not reflected the life of Christ in ways that people could truly look at me and say that Jesus was visible in their midst.

What does that really mean. It means this. The Bayash need to see Jesus in demonstrations of power expressed in the fruit of the Spirit being evident in the lives of those who minister to them. So what do we do about it? We keep coming back to the Cross of Christ over and over again confessing Pride, Anger, Fear and human self sufficiency and cry out more and more for a deeper walk of Brokenness, Humility, Gentleness, Kindness, Love and Grace.

I am though convinced that we are on the brink of a breakthrough with the Bayash. My sense is that we will enter into our second term and that will also be a term of sowing seed in all three countries but that some time not far down the road we will see a harvest of Bayash souls. Some of us now are praying for 10,000 Bayash converts in Churches led by Bayash pastors worshipping and reading the Scriptures in the mother tongue.

There is something about the Cross of Christ that can only be resisted for so long. Not by the Bayash but those of us who seek their salvation. It starts with us. But in reality it starts with the many upholding the few in prayer, finances, love and compassion. If this Cross is preached by people whose hearts are clean this people will come to Christ in large numbers. I have no doubt in this area.

I am going back to America broken in many ways. The betrayals, the demonic oppression, my sinful heart and the physical exhaustion all conspire to break that which was once confident and strong and perhaps even talented. I told dear Nancy on Skype the other day I just want to curl up and put my head in her lap and go to sleep.

She herself has been more than just a help meet in these seven years. She broke and broke and broke and still the sweetness came forth. I can not live without her but I know in God's economy maybe I will have to one day.

So off to America for a few months and then back into the cannons. Maybe after 10 weeks in America these Bayash cannons will be a relief, who knows.